Why are we mean?

I can't sleep... because of all I'm thinking...

I've been laying in bed for an hour trying to get to sleep. I am very tired, but the desire of my heart (sleep at the moment) eludes me. Perhaps because my mind is reeling over recent events and ongoing drama.

Most of us love someone or something in our lives with a fierceness that's hard to explain. Those of us with children know how it is to have our emotions all tied up in their well being. If they hurt, we hurt regardless of the source of the pain. This happens in marriage too. Our instinct to protect our spouse, guard them from pain, embarrassment, or any discomfort seems to grow as time goes on. Unfortunately, we can't always protect our loves from all of the things that would hurt them. Jocilyn has had a bad week at school because someone saw where she had written a boys name who she "loves," and this has led to laughter and teasing and has caused her a great deal of anguish... and mom can't fix it. She is a tender little heart and this is only the first of many social growing pains to come.

I love you more...because of the way ...you treat the "loves" in my life... thank you.

I think what is bothering me worse is the pain that we cause within families. There seems to be an abundance of this happening right now in our family (Matthew's and mine extending in all directions...) It should be an interesting Thanksgiving. My heart hurts right now because of things that are being done to people i love. Brothers striking out at brothers, in-laws toward in-laws. Things intentional and unintentional. I hope that I haven't hurt any of you through my actions or inactions- I'm realizing how easily feelings can be hurt and if I've hurt any of yours, I'm sure sorry. My family is the most important thing in the world to me and I'm so thankful Heavenly Father sent me to the Slade and Gibbens families- it is a blessing that continues to afford me many opportunities for growth and development.

How these people are treated means so much to me...

I'm going to try and sleep now.... I hope you are all healthy, happy, and well wherever you are! Thanksgiving is next week! Can you believe it? And- (now that I've told Lynn I can tell the rest of you) I'm going to be in Mesa for Lynn's shower!!!!!! I'm so excited I can't wait!!! I'm excited for the shower, for the friends and for the family- It will be a fast trip- but at least i get to come and celebrate a happy time with my sweet sister! Our family is growing! Another niece is on her way- another daughter, cousin, friend... I celebrate her and her mama next Saturday in Mesa!!! See you there! (yea!!!!)

Sorry this is so random... I just couldn't sleep... and i tried to get some of my feelings out. Matthew would have had to listen to my rantings if he were in town... but alas he is not.... and so they were directed at the unsuspecting partakers of the blog... goodnight.